You’re either too involved, sitting on the fence, or not involved at all.
Written by Miriam Onyemenam
It’s the middle of the semester, and the dreaded words have just left your lecturer’s lips: “This will be a group assignment.” On paper, it sounds perfect: collaborate with your classmates, share the workload, and produce a masterpiece together. But in reality, group assignments are more like a social experiment designed to test the limits of your patience, sanity, and sometimes, your friendships.
As the assignment progresses, you quickly realize that the group dynamics are as unpredictable as the Nigerian government. From the self-appointed leaders who do nothing to the ones who disappear into thin air, all groups are a collection of characters.
The Group Leader Who Isn’t Leading
Most groups have that one person who somehow ends up as the leader but doesn’t actually lead. They create the WhatsApp group chat and disappear, only to resurface the day before the deadline, asking if everything is ready. They contribute little to nothing, yet their name is plastered on the final submission with “group leader” beside it as if they were the glue holding everything together.
The Oversabi Perfectionist
This is the one who takes everything too seriously. They scrutinize every single detail, insist on countless revisions, and turn a simple task into a full-blown research project. They mean well, but by the end of the day, they leave you wondering if it’s a group assignment or a dissertation defense.
The Ghoster
Every group assignment has that one member who vanishes into thin air after the first meeting. They’re in the group, but you wouldn’t know it because they contribute absolutely nothing. You might even forget they exist until you see their name on the group members list. When the assignment is due, they magically reappear with some excuse about how their phone was stolen or how they had malaria for the past month.
By the way, since you’re here, why not subscribe to this newsletter? It’s free, and unlike that “ghoster” in your group, we won’t vanish on you.
The Idea Generator
This one is always bursting with ideas. They can generate ten suggestions in one breath, leaving you in awe of their creativity. But when it comes to actually doing the work they suddenly have network issues or their system is dead.
If you know someone like this, share this article with them to thank them for saving your heads.
The Interviewer
This person is always asking questions that make you question their presence in the group. “What’s our group number?” “What’s the topic again?” “Are we supposed to use PowerPoint or Word?” “When are we submitting?” Haba, e no dey tire you?
The Moneybag
You see these ones, nothing concern them. They just want to pay for whatever is to be paid for and you’ll not hear from them again. Some don’t even mind paying for everybody as long as they don’t put hand in the work.
So, tell us, which group member are you? And if you think we missed your category, let us know as well.
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