8 Lies Every Nigerian Student Has Told At Least Once

There was a caught!

Written by Miriam Onyemenam

You think we don\’t see those little white lies you throw around like it’s nothing? We have caught you red-handed and we’re here to expose you.

Here’s a rundown of the top 8 lies every Nigerian student has probably dropped at least once.

1. “I’m almost there”

No, you are not. In fact, you are still in your hostel but thanks to Miss African Time who has Nigerians in a chokehold, you didn\’t start getting ready on time and now you have to edit the true details of your whereabouts when your friend calls. Make the world a better place. Repent and change your ways.

1. “I’ll start reading early this semester”

New semester, new delulu. We all know that your ambitious declaration at the beginning of the semester is nothing but a declaration. “Next week, I’ll enter reading mode.” But “next week” usually drags into “next month,” and before you know it, you’re staring down a mountain of slides just days before exams. Procrastination, when will you let my people go? Oya don’t procrastinate this time, click this link to check out Opportunity Friday with TFS, our weekly list of internship, scholarship, and study abroad opportunities for you.

1. “I’m not spending recklessly this month”

The first week of the month you’re strict: no satisfying random cravings, no Chowdeck or Glovo, or patronizing the ice cream guy outside your hall. But then your guys suggest a “small” hangout, and suddenly, you’re out here flexing like Temi Otedola. By mid-month, your wallet is crying and you’re in “guiding mode” yet again.

1. “Let me just rest for 30 minutes”

You tell yourself this after 2 minutes of attempting to do your assignment by yourself. You’ll just “lie down for a bit so can feel refreshed”, and then get back to it. Next thing, it’s 6 am on the assignment submission day and you haven’t achieved anything. If you have an exam the next day, please don\’t tell yourself you\’ll rest a little and read later, we all know how that ends.

1. “I’m only going to watch one episode”

This one is in the same WhatsApp group with ‘resting small.” You open Netflix (or whatever streaming site your data and the unfortunate network in this country can manage), promising yourself it’s just one episode. Then you hear that chicken that used to disturb your ears every morning and you realize you’ve stayed awake the entire night.

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1. “I’ll eat better this semester”

Every semester, it’s the same resolution: less junk, more balanced meals, drinking water, and no more instant noodles every night. You stock your cupboard with groceries, even some fresh vegetables (that will rot there, by the way). But by the second week, Indomie is calling, your suya guy knows you by name, and the only green thing in your life is your 7Up bottle.

1. “I didn’t see your call/text”

Whether it’s from your group leader or that biller who won’t stop pestering you, sometimes the “I didn’t see your call” line is simply essential. Sometimes you need a break from the endless wahala. Just pretend like you didn’t see it. So if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of this lie, I hate to break it to you but they definitely saw it.

1. “I’m fine”

Whether it’s from a long week, back-to-back all-nighters, or just the wahala of Nigerian university life, sometimes “I’m fine” is just easier than explaining your stress. So you tell your friends you’re fine, just tired, hoping nobody will press for details.

There you have it, all your signature lies on full display. Which ones did we miss? Tell us in the comments. And don’t forget to share this article with your friends who usually tell one or two—or five of these lies.

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