5 ways to tell if your circle is the weapon fashioned against you

How to NOT do friendship in uni.

Written by Oluwagbemisola Ogunleye

The weapon fashioned against you is the person that kept seat for you in class today. The last time your mummy’s pastor alfa babalawo came to give you a message, they said someone around you is sitting on your glory and you hissed. The prophet alpha babalawo might not be wrong. It is not always spiritual maidear, they don’t need to tie you with red rope to stunt your growth. Your bad taste in friends might just be why you are drifting through university without character development and wondering if your mates doing big things have two heads.

Anybody can be in your circle but look at your inner circle and ask yourself if you have friends or if the character of those inside the circle are more Jinn-like than human.

Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are not or how do they say it? There is a saying that you slowly become like the five people that are closest to you over the years. Now look at your inner circle, if someone says you behave like one of your friends, will you blush? Or will you find one corner to quietly say Tufiakwa?

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If you are in the Tufiakwa community, this one is for you. Here are five ways to know if you are friends with all the wrong people;

• Inner circle or inner circus?: You are already doing it wrong if you can’t identify your inner circle. Start the questioning by asking yourself why there are thirty-three people in your inner circle. Your inner circle don turn inner oval. Are you running a shelter or a trade fair? Learn to separate acquaintances from friends. It is perfectly fine to have different friends for different purposes be very strict about the people you are actively trying to grow with A.K.A your inner circle.

• Heavenly race or vibes and Insha’Allah?: Why are you friends with people that have no purpose? Anytime future plans come up, these set of people never have anything to say. If you catch them on a good day, their answer will be ‘money’ but beyond that, they have no plans of making that money, have no idea how to keep it and if you check well, don’t even know how to spend the bag they claim to be chasing. They don’t take their grades seriously, have no handiwork and can’t hustle for five naira and then there’s you, following them to play PS5 at 9am on Monday morning because after hanging around these people for longer than seven days, life go con dey resemble vanity for your eyes. You will now leave assignment for who has assignment and follow them to be pressing phone early in the morning because they’ve managed to convince you that life is vanity and this is how the chill guys do it. Make friends that have the same goals as you. Somebody that wants to make mama proud has no business moving with drifters.

• Homies that kill your grind: As a hustler, you should move with people that will ginger your grind. If they know school is your ticket out of the trenches, they will save you a front row seat at every class and always make sure your assignment is submitted. Haven’t you heard that friends are a support system? And you are moving with people as unreliable as the national grid? Oya now. You should move with people that have a copy of your CV and will not hesitate to plug you in as soon as they find opportunities that match your skill set. As a trenches hustler, why are you moving with trust fund kids that don’t understand what your struggle is about. School is just an item to check off their to-do list. These people have jobs somewhere or an Alhaji to marry after school. That is why they will text you (that is writing projects to pay school fees) on a Tuesday night to ask if you want to go to a party. If you follow those ones do molly, when you craze, dem go carry you go Yabaleft and dem go carry them go Switzerland. A word is enough for the wise.

1. Bad bele dey quick get bele: Your bestie is a professional curse inventor. If she dey vex, before you talk two, she go don call Amadioha like five times. With the amount of times she likes to call the god of thunder and his kind, don\’t you think they will answer her one day? Before you finish telling her your business idea, she has already told you that it will fail. You have no business being friends with someone that is comfortable putting you down at every corner and speaking negativity into your budding career/start-up. These things slowly sink into your subconscious and begin to affect the things you do. Cut off negative energy today.

1. You can’t dye a red flag, green: Your bestie is a chronic gossip, you know everybody\’s gist in your class but you think nobody knows your gist? Oya now. Never think you are the exception. Your parents did not send you to school to come and mother/father another person’s child. Sometimes you need to keep the advice to a minimum and leave at the first red flag. At the first sign that the friend in question is a pathological liar or a two-faced person, flee! Go and find your own people in front.

Dangote is currently making friends that will secure the bag for his great-grandchildren. There is nothing fun about doing life alone but it\’s even worse if you do it with the wrong people. We know that you won\’t thank us for exposing the Jinn’s in your circle but you can at least send this newsletter to that one friend that you want to cut off, like and share for a wider reach. As always, TFS dey for you. 🤎

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